I hate this holiday!!!

I seriously and truly hate this effing holiday. When I was little, it meant pageants where we'd recite the story of the birth of Christ. Now it mean hard feelings and pissed off families. Both my mother and my sister hate me right now. All basically because I decided to be with my fiance's family 300 miles away for Christmas, for the first holiday that I've spent here in over a year, and not by my own blood relatives. I thought getting away from them would help me feel less guilty about it, but because of the blessed cell phone, I've managed to get reemed out by my sister, whom if she wasn't blood related I wouldn't even associate with anymore, and made my mother feel like crap and cry. About a week ago, my sister invited mom with to an 11pm mass in the next town over for Christmas eve. Mom never said yes, but then recently went ahead and made plans with her ex-boyfriend, who she still hangs out with all the time, to go to a 10pm mass in a different next-town over. My sister is not happy that mom chose Jim over her, and I agreed with that to mom and reminded her that my sister did ask her first. Mom kept trying to say "well she asked me for 11pm and all the way over in ___", and I told her that 1 hour isn't much difference, and she's going all the way over in ___, which is no difference in distance. Insert crying mother here. She laid on the guilt trip about how my sister and I chose to do Christmas eve with others in the first place and "why should that be any different for me?". I really didn't know what to say to that and so now I feel like royal crap. This holiday is no longer about Jesus, it's only about materialism, and feeling like crap for as many things as possible; such as if you can't afford gifts for people but they buy you great stuff anyway, or if you have to choose between families to spend it with, or if you're alone on the holiday you feel like lonely crap as well. The latter was me last year.

Dental School Difficulty

I called the dental schools I applied to today. I'll abbreviate their names in light of the talk that these people might be reading and I may get in trouble... M, H, T, and UM all have my application materials in and are starting to get going on letters of acceptance/rejection. C1 said they haven't gone through their most recent mail yet so they don't have my app stuff, but C2 doesn't even seem to like to pick up the phone. I called them for the 5th time since retaking my DAT and can't get a hold of a single human to find out a fax number to send the scores to! Today I just rattled them off into the head of admissions' answering machine so she could at least hear them on my behalf.
Aside from that, my finals are all on Thursday and I lack the motivation to start studying right now. I have 3 whole days in which I can study, so why now at 11 on monday morning should I start right this second? Don't worry, I will start today. I plan on using the DAT method and reading my textbooks, and on biostats' behalf, cover to cover. I've got some errands to run today too so I need to get my butt moving. It's really starting to hit me that I'll be gone. My room is pretty much bare now except for some snack food and random walmart bags lying around. This past weekend was entertaining. I definitely made it my last big hurrah on Friday night. That was a fun one. Saturday night was an 80's party, which was also fun, but towards the end of the night, I started acting like an idiot and I feel bad about that. Actually, both nights involved things I feel bad about. On Friday night I borrowed one of Jared's sweatshirts to go to the bar, and long story short it ended up getting stolen. I'm not 100% responsible, but I'm still responsible 'cause I borrowed it in the first place, so I want to replace it or at least give him a gift certificate to the book shop for most of its price. Maybe when I return my $200 ochem book I can use some of the money to buy it for him. Oh well now I better get my butt moving if I'm gonna accomplish anything. 4 days left...

Found 'em!

I believe I have found my bridesmaid dresses! Here are their pics. I won't have them in two-tone like the pictures, they'll be all one color, and the back-view makes it look like it's extremely form-fitting, but I believe the model is just standing like an idiot 'cause the front one looks like there's a lot of loose fabric.

I was more productive today that this isn't all I did. It was fun to look though. I got my christmas shopping done for my mom and I also picked up something for TJ. I have no idea what my sister wants this year so I'll have to look into that and get on the ball. I'm excited to be done with biostats. I've hit beyond-burnout and am almost ready to say screw it, if it wasn't for a certain dental school relying on these grades. I'm so stressed out lately that my nightmares are coming back. I couldn't get back to sleep at all last night after one. I also need to pack for my mother's arrival on Saturday. I haven't packed a single thing. I'll take care of it tomorrow I guess. All I've eaten today are pop tarts and some pretzels for meals. Autumn went to a Barenaked Ladies concert in the cities tonight. I'm so jealous and wish I could've gone with her, but the tickets were $50 and I don't have that kind of money, so I'll just have to admire her. I wonder when she gets back... Ok I'm getting to bed to prevent being fried yet again tomorrow. Goodnight!

Marquette's got funny timing

3 major tests, 2 homework assignments, and 2 poster presentations to go 'til I'm done with the semester.
I'm excited as hell to be done with the homework and tests, I've hit the point of burnout and I can't get myself back. I did get a little kick in the butt today which gave me the message "God is watching, don't screw this up." I opened my SPO to find a small envelope with the Marquette insignia on it. My first thought,
"Oh no, not another thin envelope from them already!"
Last year, I got my rejection letter from them on Dec 1, which is the first day dental schools can legally tell you their answer. Ouch. So getting another thin letter four days after the first day blah blah blah doesn't bode well for the confidence here. fortunately, Autumn was with me and offered to open it. I stared at her from across the room while she read it silently, and realized she wasn't smiling. But she wasn't crying either. She started,
"Dear Ms. Komornick
The Admissions Committee of the Marquette University School of Dentistry has reviewed your application and supporting credentials for the 2006 Freshmen class."

Insert mild panic and heart attacks here

"The Committee has decided to "HOLD" making a decision on your application at this time in the process."
So basically they wrote me a letter saying they weren't sending me a letter yet. They said they already sent out acceptances and rejections, which means both that I wasn't good enough for that first acceptance group, but that I don't suck like last year anymore. They also said they're making another wave of decisions and will send out letters in mid-January. At least I have a timeframe of when I'll potentially hear from Marquette now, unlike the cable-repairman-esque timeframe the other schools are giving me (Between now and mid-April). I spoke with the head of admissions from Marquette and he already told me to my face that they'll wait to make a decision on me 'til I have my fall grades sent in to him. I guess this is just them putting it in writing.
So now I've been reminded that I can't slack on the aforementioned list at all whatsoever or I'm basically screwed. I'm sitting at all A's and B's right now, so I think I'm alright, but biostats is the one that might teeter to a C if I don't watch it on these next tests. I can't wait for it to all be over. The academic part I mean. I'm gonna miss my friends here like crazy. I don't see Jared much anymore but we're still friends, and Autumn has been such a great friend this whole semester, I want to make sure I keep in touch with them and don't drift away. So the end of this semester holds bittersweet emotions that I knew I'd have to face someday.
I'm still struggling with the Insurance vs. Mad Cash Dillema, and I've heard some good feedback so far. I just now realized I got a new comment on that and I've replied, so let's keep that discussion going and help a chica out!