get me outta here

I swear I'm going freaking nuts. I need to get off campus for a while. I'm going home next weekend, maybe that'll "reset" me back to normal. Thanksgiving can't come soon enough...

reminisce

Tomorrow I'm going to Winona to hang out with Katie, and also with a friend I haven't seen in a long time. She was my best friend in middle school and one of my first friends after moving from Chicago. She was in one of my classes and seemed really nice, which was comforting coming from a parochial class size of 13 to a class size of 400 at a public school. When I first met her, I was really intrigued by her but didn't know how to communicate with her because she was hearing impaired and I didn't know a single thing about sign language. I actually stopped her in the hall and got out a piece of paper and pencil and wrote, "Hi, my name is Cathy, I'm in social studies with you. What's your name?"
I then joined the sign language club at the school and my mom bought me a sign language dictionary. We became good friends, hanging out at each other's houses, sitting at the lunch table with her and her other friends. By the end of the year, I was helping interpret during classes sometimes if the interpreter was sick or late. At the time, it even prompted me to want to become a speech therapist. She and I became good friends, hanging out at each other's houses, sitting at the lunch table with her and her other friends. We kind of drifted apart a little during high school, I got involved with sports and the choir crowd, etc. Sometime during high school I loaned my SL dictionary to someone I was in choir with. She never returned it, and then moved away. It's gone and I'll never get it back. That still kinda stings that I was stupid enough to loan it out.
I'm really excited to get to catch up with her this w/e. It's been so so long. She's engaged now too, on her 5th year at Winona State. I hope I don't embarrass myself too much with the amount of SL I've forgotten. I warned her that I'm pretty rusty at it now. I'll have to resort back to my basic spelling-out of words, I still remember the sign language alphabet at least so I don't have to primate myself back to paper and pencil communication.
Well that's it for the reminiscing, I'm off for some fun hangin' out time with a former 6th cluster-er tonight. Goodnight!

GOSH, IDIOT!!!

GODDAMMITSONOFABITCH!!! I am a FUCKTARD!

I think I did fine on my whole ochem test except for the easiest math portion possible: I called 1/5=25%, thus botching the whole problem. Fuck fuck fuckedy fuck fuck!

I'm going to lie down and wallow in my own stupidity for a while. Tonight, we drink.

The Child Is Gone

Not much new stuff going on here. I figured out a way to read my 950-odd page DAT study book before I take the test in 3 weeks from today. That's making me feel better about retaking it. The first time I took it, I didn't even crack it open once.

Not much else going on. I had a counseling appointment today and really didn't have anything to say to the counselor. Why is it that whenever I go to those, I always feel worse the rest of the day after? I'm past all the "issues" that were going on last year, and the dad/grandma thing is old news now.

I've been pretty down and out lately. No reason in particular, just not much to really say to anyone, I don't feel as excited about simple things like I was last year when we had all the girls here in the cluster. I could crack jokes and feel pretty good about life considering all that was going on, with my whole life being turned upside down and everything over that previous year. I'm really happy that I have a friend like Autumn still here. She's a good listener and is very understanding about a lot of things.
I went for a drive tonight just to get out of the dorms and brought my Fiona Apple CD along. It's been a while since I've listened to that one. The song that really hit home for me tonight was this:

Honey, help me out of this mess
I'm a stranger to myself
But don't reach for me -- I'm too far away
I don't wanna talk cause there's nothing left to say
And I suddenly feel like a different person
From the roots of my soul comes a gentle coersion
and I ran my hand o'er a strange inversion
as the darkness turns into the dawn
The child is gone

The child is gone.

Tree Monkeys

Wooo buddy, it's been a long time since I've updated. Maybe that has something to do with why sleep has been tough to accomplish lately too... It actually seems to correlate with the exact days TJ and I finally got to spend together over the last week. We went to a wedding here in Luther-Land and then I spend the rest of my fall break at his house in Sheboygan. He had to study and was working on homework pretty much every moment he wasn't gone for class, so I really didn't get to spend much time with him there. I did get some quality quilt-shop-helper time in with his mom though.

One night I had a plan to make an elaborate dinner that included fresh chicken cordon bleu, with a side of long grain and wild rice and a vegetable of fresh green beans, with a bevarage of hot apple cider with a dash of cinnamon. For dessert we were to dine on baked apples. I even called and got the recipe from my mom. Turned out, nobody would be home to actually eat the meal. I was thisclose to tears, I was so dissappointed, but then TJ's dad asked if I wanted to go out for a burger with him at this little mom and pop joint in town. I never really got good one-on-one time with his dad before, it was really interesting hearing about him. He's always so quiet, I'm usually so intimidated. Too bad it took me 5 years to get to talk to him like that, but better late than never.

TJ's fall break started Wed, which was when my fall break ended, so we drove back here and got some quality time in 'til today. Last Friday TJ and I climbed a tree on campus, which turned out to be not as easy as I remember doing on a daily basis when I was younger, but managed it anyway, and took some pictures of the two of us in it. We look like monkeys in a couple of 'em, but if we cropped them, they'd be really nice. What'dya think? This one's my favorite:

I'll get to see him again at Thanksgiving. In the meantime, I've got a sh*tload of stuff to accomplish, including studying my butt off for the DAT. I take the torture device in less than a month, and I still don't understand most of the gen chem concepts anymore; it has been 4 years since I've seen any general chemistry, so I'm definitely gonna be a bit rusty with it. One day at a time. After this puppy's done, I just wait for the letters from the "suits" determining my future and figure out my life from there. I have to finish my dental hygiene apps too, which includes re-doing my personal statement. If anyone has suggestions or a life-preserver in that department, please let me know. That's about it on the homefront for now. Back to the grindstone...

The type of person TJ is...

In honor of the fact that today is our 5-year anniversary, I thought I'd share a journal entry that I wrote while I was taking a creative writing class at UWEC. The format of it required every sentence to begin with "___ is the type/sort of person who," and I decided to write it about TJ. The stuff in brackets ([]) are because I wrote this in the summer of 2004 and the numbers have changed:

TJ is the type of person who would be a complete goof in order to get me to smile.
He is the sort of person who gets all of his friends together on a regular basis in order to maintain a bond with all of them.
He is the sort of person who has a poker night with the guys.
He is the sort of person who would never cheat on anything or anyone, he has a good and faithful heart.
He is the sort of person who would never settle for 2nd best.
He is the sort of person who wears shorts and a t-shirt to bed.
He is the sort of person who sleeps under a large pile of pillows.
He is the sort of person who hates waking up early.
He is the sort of person who wears boxers instead of briefs.
He is the sort of person who you could call at all hours of the night and talk to for hours if you just need someone to listen.
He is the type of person who would pay my entire way to Florida just so I could be with him for my first ever time to Disneyworld.
He is the type of person who didn't get upset when I almost lost the silver necklace he bought me while he was in London [3 1/2] years ago.
He is the type of person who calls me every day and does it because he wants to talk to me.
He is the type of person who is a loyal hockey fan.
He is the sort of person who loves to rollerblade.
He is the type of person who has high hopes and dreams and believes he will achieve them someday.
He is the sort of person who likes smaller dogs.
He is the sort of person who takes pleasure in showing me the finer things in life.
He is the sort of person who is shy about showing affection, although it does not mean he doesn't love me with all he has.
He is the sort of person who loves fast cars.
He is the sort of person who loves going to movies.
He is the sort of person who takes good care of his appearance, only not in an obsessed kind of way.
He is the sort of person who makes to effort to visit me often.
He is the sort of person who is in a [5] year long-distance relationship and is happy.
He is the sort of person who is willing to move and follow me to wherever I go to dental school just to be with me.
He is the sort of person who doesn't like Polish borscht, but is very Polish himself.
He is the sort of person who I never want to see hurt, sad, lonely, mad, or crying. I want to make him happy.

seeeepy kitty

This morning was the first time that I've actually gone to class in my pajamas. In my now 5th year at Luther, I've never done it before. It wasn't like I changed out of my pj's into sweat clothes to wander over for my 8am extravaganza; I just put on a bra, laced up some shoes, and wandered over in the clothes I had just curled up in for the past 6 hours. I planned on taking a shower after class anyway, and didn't want to stink up whatever clothes I was going to put on for the day, so it just made sense to do it. No, I didn't wear kinky jammies that gave anyone a fun wake-up show, just simple sweatpants and my trout fry shirt that has a fish on the back sitting on a lawn chair saying "Rock out with your block out." Not my finest fashion statement, I'll give you that, and I was ready to fall asleep on my desk about 8 times during the first 45 min of the class, but I was comfy dammit. If only I had showered last night, I could've wandered back and taken a nap before lunch at 10. There's always tomorrow!

More decisions for miss indecisive:

The newest tough question on the block: Do I stay here or go home and take classes at UWEC 2nd semester? If I were able to get into all the classes I wanted at both schools, UWEC would be a hellofa lot cheaper, and probably way easier classes than at Luther. The downside would be leaving my friends here, but the majority of them have already graduated away anyway. And if I took classes in EC, I could work at the Olive Garden and make some decent money, whereas if I stayed here, I'm not sure I could even find a job for that semester... Too many tough decisions.

If anyone feels like helping me revise my personal statement for my hygiene school apps too, please lemme know, I need all the help I can get.

Room swap?

I have the opportunity to upgrade into a bigger room for 2nd semester. It wouldn't be far of a move, it's actually about a cubic inch from my door, directly next door. It is still a single room, but instead of being 1/2 the size of a double room like my current one, it's 2/3 the size of one. That'll give me maybe 8 square feet of more room. If I don't move in there, they're going to assign it to someone else anyway. I checked with residence life and they said it would be fine if I moved in there 2nd semester.

I'm now having second thoughts. After talking to a few people about it, they've questioned the reasoning behind the move. They don't think the extra space is worth moving all of my crap, "especially since it's in the same corner of the cluster anyway." I'm torn and really not sure what to do. If anyone has advice on the issue, please help a woman out. Anyone who knows me is aware of my indecisiveness when faced with two good sides to an argument, so any help on the issue is extremely welcome!

We partied like freaking rock stars

This past weekend was homecoming here at Luther. This includes all of our friends that graduated away coming back and visiting for the weekend. In the case of the returning and ever famous 6th North cluster, this meant partying like rock stars. After classes were done friday, Autumn and I threw in a movie to pass the time before they got here, with frequent trips to the window every time a car pulled up to check if it was them. After about 2/3 of the movie, they all got here, and with them was a smorgasboard of booze. Our friend Chris has an apartment downtown and said we could utilize his facilities to catch up on old times. I'm sure we did a lot of catching up, but I don't think many of us remember much of it at all. It was a lot of fun. This year, Luther put some money into having a fireworks display once the sun went down, and according to PanamaJack, I was "ooh"ing like a 3 year old who's never seen them before. I just take pride in the simple things in life. The rest of the night is a mildly drunken haze, with a slight miscommunication, but things ended up really well.
Saturday morning I woke up at 9:45, and get this, it was without a hangover. Apparently my method of drinking fast and furiously early in the night allowed me to remain drunk through the evening, but let me get over the hangover part pretty much right as I was going to bed at 2:30am. Around noonish, the guys were all getting together for a grill out in front of Farwell, and since in my now 5 homecomings here at Luther, I've never been to a single football game, I figured I'd go and hang out there. The girls were supposed to call me when they were done with the football game; they never did. I ended up spending the rest of the day with the guys, some of us went out to dinner and I discovered that I really don't like crab cakes. I thought they'd be like crab rangoon, with cream cheese on 'em or something. They were more like breaded fish that got dropped on the floor at Roscoes a couple of times. Anyway, a few of us went to the Flamingo Ball. My only reason for going was to get to wear my red satin dress again, and we ended up staying for about 1/2 hour before we couldn't take the crappy funk music anymore.

Insert rock star party number two here.
There are some parts I don't remember, so I'll say in a nutshell it was a damn good time. There were a couple of girls there that nobody really knew that well, and they were being really really annoying. One of them was acting like a hoochie to the point where she was pole-dancing/humping PanamaJack's doorframe for attention. Everyone came outta that party complaining about their dumbness. I'll admit, towards the very end of the night I was getting incoherent enough to the point where I was starting to make an ass outta myself, but at least I knew the people at the party well enough where it's not as awkward as tweetledum and tweetledipshit were.
Yesterday ended up being recovery day, which included a much needed egg breakfast at a small diner in town called Family Table. Nothing much interesting after that, and I'm still a bit wiped out today from all the festivities, so I'm gonna take a nap. Autumn and I are running up to LaCrosse later to pick up some of her winter clothes now that things are getting colder, so that will be a nice little "reset button" getaway to put us back to normal so we can function for the rest of the week. 4 days 'til TJ's here :o)

Alarm clock...must...die

Well this day has already started off peachy. Aside from the mystery call beeping me awake at 5:45 a.m., which from what I'm gathering by the sounds is probably my mom accidentally calling me from inside her purse, my next door neighbor's alarm clock has been going off. This isn't just a sleeping-through the piercing beeps kind of "going off", oh no, that would be too easy, that way my pounding on her door would've resulted in it being shut off. She left last night to go home and forgot to un-set it. For the sake of my frustration and the earliness of this rant, yes, "un-set" is a real word. The real kicker of this one is that it seems to be one of those that progressively gets louder as it beeps on; this alarm has been going off since 8 fucking a.m. If you notice the time I'm typing this, it's quite a long time after that. We might as well have placed a jackhammer against my headboard by this point. I should also point out that our rooms are divided by a solid brick wall and I was still ready to rip my own ears off.
My 8am class had been cancelled today and I was looking forward to a peaceful sleep-in. Sonofa-

I was chosen to do this so here it is

The Rules:
1. Go into your archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five other people to do the same.


Here is the, well it's my 4th sentence 'cause it was a shorty from my post "I need your help" (Aug. 3, 2005):

"There may be a thank-you reward in the form of fudge or other yummy goods
in your future!"

Ok, I've done it, now I'll follow suit and pass this puppy on:
1. Josistah (her blog)
2. Didgery Drew (Blogspot: The other LiveJournal)
3. Julie K (Juliebug)
4. Jonny T (blog this)
5. The Man Known as TJ (The Great Paved Parking Lot in the Sky)