The Child Is Gone

Not much new stuff going on here. I figured out a way to read my 950-odd page DAT study book before I take the test in 3 weeks from today. That's making me feel better about retaking it. The first time I took it, I didn't even crack it open once.

Not much else going on. I had a counseling appointment today and really didn't have anything to say to the counselor. Why is it that whenever I go to those, I always feel worse the rest of the day after? I'm past all the "issues" that were going on last year, and the dad/grandma thing is old news now.

I've been pretty down and out lately. No reason in particular, just not much to really say to anyone, I don't feel as excited about simple things like I was last year when we had all the girls here in the cluster. I could crack jokes and feel pretty good about life considering all that was going on, with my whole life being turned upside down and everything over that previous year. I'm really happy that I have a friend like Autumn still here. She's a good listener and is very understanding about a lot of things.
I went for a drive tonight just to get out of the dorms and brought my Fiona Apple CD along. It's been a while since I've listened to that one. The song that really hit home for me tonight was this:

Honey, help me out of this mess
I'm a stranger to myself
But don't reach for me -- I'm too far away
I don't wanna talk cause there's nothing left to say
And I suddenly feel like a different person
From the roots of my soul comes a gentle coersion
and I ran my hand o'er a strange inversion
as the darkness turns into the dawn
The child is gone

The child is gone.