A little dental humor, or something like that

A woman goes into a dentist’s office, and after her examination, the dentist says, “I’m sorry to tell you this, but I am going to have to drill that tooth.”
Horrified, the woman replies, “Oh, no! I’d rather have a baby.”
To which the dentist replies, “Make up your mind, I have to adjust the chair.”

A little bit about yourself from the perspective of a bored dental assistant...

I swiped this one outta my buddy Drew's journal; I thought it'd be cool...

1. Reply with your name and I will write something I like about you.
2. I will then tell what song reminds me of you.
3. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, I'll tell you what it would be.
4. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
5. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
6. I will tell you what color you remind me of.
7. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. Put this in your journal.

false alarm

Last night around 3am I woke up to a loud *bang*. I sat up and asked TJ what it was, but he didn't even hear it. Then I saw a shadow of someone walk into his parents' sitting room attached to their bedroom. I told this to TJ who then jumped out of bed, rummaged through one of his drawers, and then crept into the hallway James Bond-style to see what was going on. After surveying the bathroom and his brother's unoccupied room, he came back and told me that the bathroom door had been shut with the curtain covering it once he entered. He threw it back to see if someone was in there, but thank God, there wasn't. He then asked me about the sitting room. I had called it their closet, 'cause it's really just a little adjoining room thing and I didn't know what they usually called it. I also remembered seeing a shadow walk out of their room just after the noise, so I thought maybe his dad had gotten up to see what it was. TJ wanted me to be backup to him for when he checked out the sitting room, but after thinking over my theory about his dad, I just walked right in and peeked into his parents' room. His mom was wide awake and gave us a "hi guys" and wondered why we were in the sitting room staring at them. Apparently what happened was the wind blew the bathroom door shut, and that's what the bang was. TJ's dad had gotten up to go close the deck umbrella, so that's the rummaging we heard downstairs. After our hearts stopped pounding, we got to bed, but still couldn't really sleep until around 4am. TJ gave me crap for scaring him by having him check, thinking there might have been a giant rat or something. He said he was gonna have nightmares of a giant rat jumping out of his parents' closet when he opened it. I then took the opportunity to tell him that Splinter was not coming to get him, and gave him a scenario of the rest of the Ninja Turtles running up the stairs to the rescue, with Raphael informing him that the pizza will be here in 5 minutes. I think that worked to calm him down and then I got to sleep for the next two hours before my alarm went off.

Nightmares of the motherly persuasion...

The nightmares won't stop. I keep waking up in the middle of the night wimpering like I was about to cry. Both nightmares involved my mother:
The first one, two nights ago, had to do with my wedding. It was a constant rehearsal at the chapel. I was in a "practice" wedding dress, which was this tu-tu type of white thing that made me look like something from Swan Lake without the ballerina-style figure. It was odd because TJ wasn't there, neither were any of the girls I am considering for bridesmaids. My mom wasn't there either. I remember seeing Joe Svendsen (my RA from Farwell last year) and John Trullinger in the pews along with some other people I didn't recognize. I ran home because I forgot something, or was looking for my mom, one of the two. There were a bunch of cars and trucks, including a semi, in my driveway, which is odd 'cause my driveway wouldn't ever be able to hold something as big as a semi truck. They all had signs on the side stating they were a lawn care company. I walked into the house to find my mother straddling the lap of one of the lawn-guys, making out with him in a chair in the living room. After reeming her out and calling her a slut in worse words than that, she still refused to come to my wedding rehearsal. I woke up very creeped out after that.
The second one happened last night. I was at home in Eau Claire and the doorbell rang. I opened the door to see my father standing right in front of me, smiling and arms out for a huge hug. I was so happy and very confused, but it was him and he was home. Dad explained to me that while he was in Chicago, he witnessed something and had to be put in the witness protection program, and the death and funeral were all part of his hiding process; they had to believe he was dead. He then came into the house looking for mom. Mom comes down the stairs with Jim right next to her, holding hands. She stops, looks at him with wide eyes, and instead of running to him and hugging him or saying anything or even smiling; she hands him a piece of paper and says "I want a divorce." I woke up from that one almost in tears.

nana nana nana nana rape van!

I went to the beach Thursday to read and try to get a little color to my pastiness. I was out there for about an hour until a group of creepy looking guys in a creepy looking, white, unmarked rapist-style conversion van pulled up to where I was. I left when they started throwing things at the seagulls. It's actually good that they scared lil' ol me outta there, 'cause that night I discovered that I completely fried my entire back side. Seriously, my ass looks like a tomato right now.

Rollerblading adventure

TJ and I went for a rollerblade through Sheboygan yesterday. We had heard about a free orchestra concert at the park in the middle of town, which means it's about 2 miles away, so we decided to head there first. We found a spot on the little grassy hill and listened to their rendition of songs from Steven Spielberg movies. I think I heard a Star Wars one in there too, but I really wasn't sure. This band was made up of people of all ages, and was geared towards people of the geriatric persuasion. After listening to two songs, the second being some kind of polka, and realizing we had parked ourselves on an ant hill, we decided to continue blading and see the little shops in town. After a few good laps through the "downtown" area, we started back to the orchestra thing to see if we should listen again, or go to supper. Some old lady was up there with a voice as beautiful as a crow outside your window at 6 in the morning; we decided it was suppertime. There's a place downtown with really good food for really cheap. We got 2 meals which each included a salad, good-sized portions of food with a side dish, and a dessert for a combined total of $15. We then decided we needed to rollerblade a LOT more, so we headed for a new hotel in town called Blue Harbor . They built it for the PGA tour that happened just north of town, and definitely catered to the rich people who came. The owners bought the land really cheap, as it used to be a big pile of coal on a peninsula from back in the day when that was the only source of heating in these houses. They made a trail around the hotel, which is right along Lake Michigan; it's absolutely gorgeous, especially during sunset like it was then. What they didn't bargain for is the fact that the area is constantly swarming with seagulls, so this beautiful blue railing and nice cobblestone walkway they built is coated with piles and piles of bird shit. The seagulls constantly swarm over the parking lot and walkways just waiting for an unsuspecting person to stroll by and then bombs away! So TJ and I are on said trail and the seagulls are just everywhere, I mean they were swooping all across the sky above. I don't think I've ever skated so hard and dodged so much in my life. I made sure I was moving and twisting around enough not to get hit, and thank God I didn't. After our experience that was somewhat comparable to a twisted version of that old movie The Birds, we decided to hoof it home. I decided to blade past the office building where I work, which I forgot included a really steep incline, so once the near-athsma attack wore off, we were on our way home. About a mile from safety from bad music and bird-poo, this car drives down along the street we were blading, coming the opposite direction, and I hear this *sploosh* about 2 feet to my left. The little punks tried to drive-by water-balloon us! We high-tailed it back to the house and called it a night, but that was the most adventurous rollerblading experience I've ever had!

Livin' and lovin' it in Sheboygan

Well I'm finally officially moved in! I got here Sunday after spending a weekend up at Megan's cabin. God that was fun! We went jet-skiing, tubing of the back of the jet-ski, and pontooning. I want to own a jet-ski if I ever make more than $4000 a year as a poverty-stricken college student. It was really good to get to spend time with Megan, too. We haven't seen each other much considering we're living in different towns, and now that I'm on the other side of the state, I doubt I'd get to see her much at all... So anyway, I got here on Sunday night, and unpacked my boxes. TJ was wonderful enough to empty out some of his drawers and a whole side of his cabinet so I could have a place to put my stuff. I ended up having to evict him out of another drawer in order to fit my t-shirts, but we got it all to work out. TJ told me that our "rent" we're paying means we're cooking supper every Tues/Thurs, and helping vacuum, dust, and sweep; basically doing everything but sell our bodies on the street corner. I like this idea better than paying, though. We can finally start saving for grad school/wedding/honeymoon/apartment (not quite in that order, but you get the idea).
Monday morning came all too fast. I haven't woken up at 6:10 am in a very very long time. I've stayed up until 5 am a few times, especially during 2nd semester last year, but never up and at 'em by 7. I also never pulled a 12-hour shift at a dental office before. That was insane! I worked from 7-7 on Mon, yesterday was 7-5, and today is 7-6. I'm lucky and have Thursdays off, but then Friday it's 7-3:30. Why on God's green earth did whoever decided to make us start at 7 and go so long into the day? If anything, start us at 8, go to 5, and have us work all 5 days of the midweek, or switch Friday's work day to Thursday so we at least have a 3-day weekend that way! I wonder what genius thought that schedule up...

Yesterday was a really busy day. Acutally, I hadn't accomplished a single damned thing before yesterday at all other than the following:
I toured the Leinenkugel's brewery, fed baby cows and held a baby pig while naming one cow Moo and another Skippy, found my wedding dress and bridesmaid dresses, went to the beach twice so far, got drunk once so far (make that two times as of this coming weekend), and saw Monster in Law and Madagascar. Ok one out of that whole thing was productive, but I'm not actually buying my wedding dress 'til the end of the summer. Yesterday I managed to get all signed up to retake the DAT, even though I'd rather scratch my own eyeballs out than take that thing again, I also tracked down all the dental hygiene 4-year schools in America and printed off some apps, and found my bridesmaid dresses for a less-expensive price than at the first place.

Now it's time for another break! This weekend I'm headed up to one of my best friend's cabin in Hayward for some good ol' cabin fun. We're going jet-skiing and I'm bringing our tube to tie to the back of the jet-ski. I better make sure I hold onto my swimsuit bottoms when I fall off this time... Sunday will include a barbecue lunch and then I'm off to Sheboygan for the summer. Lake Michigan, here I come! :o)

For your entertainment,

and since I have nothing else to post here yet, I decided to resurrect an old blog from my other blog site:

Considering the time is now 2am, the entertainment of my morning has involved fruit flies flying down under my lamp, and then getting disoriented and dying from the heat coming off of it. It's kinda funny, they all swoop down like "hey guys, a party, eh?" then do this little cult-like dance in a circle, and then I swear they roll over like a dog and stop moving.
I'll vacuum them all up in the morning

Help me name this thing!

If anyone has ideas of what I should name this blog, please offer suggestions! It's been a long frigging day and I fell off the creativity train a long time ago, so anything would help. Thanks.