I hate this holiday!!!

I seriously and truly hate this effing holiday. When I was little, it meant pageants where we'd recite the story of the birth of Christ. Now it mean hard feelings and pissed off families. Both my mother and my sister hate me right now. All basically because I decided to be with my fiance's family 300 miles away for Christmas, for the first holiday that I've spent here in over a year, and not by my own blood relatives. I thought getting away from them would help me feel less guilty about it, but because of the blessed cell phone, I've managed to get reemed out by my sister, whom if she wasn't blood related I wouldn't even associate with anymore, and made my mother feel like crap and cry. About a week ago, my sister invited mom with to an 11pm mass in the next town over for Christmas eve. Mom never said yes, but then recently went ahead and made plans with her ex-boyfriend, who she still hangs out with all the time, to go to a 10pm mass in a different next-town over. My sister is not happy that mom chose Jim over her, and I agreed with that to mom and reminded her that my sister did ask her first. Mom kept trying to say "well she asked me for 11pm and all the way over in ___", and I told her that 1 hour isn't much difference, and she's going all the way over in ___, which is no difference in distance. Insert crying mother here. She laid on the guilt trip about how my sister and I chose to do Christmas eve with others in the first place and "why should that be any different for me?". I really didn't know what to say to that and so now I feel like royal crap. This holiday is no longer about Jesus, it's only about materialism, and feeling like crap for as many things as possible; such as if you can't afford gifts for people but they buy you great stuff anyway, or if you have to choose between families to spend it with, or if you're alone on the holiday you feel like lonely crap as well. The latter was me last year.