random mind-splurge

Over the past 2 years my life has been changed in a way I can't reverse. I've had people tell me I don't seem as happy as I used to be, that I don't try to find the good out of everything like I used to. I even pretty much lost someone who was a good friend of mine through high school and most of college because of what I'll call "differences of opinion," and just now I all but ripped TJ a new one for little piddly things. I don't know whether it's because it's September and it'll be 2 years since my dad died come the 30th, or if I'm just getting the pre-wedding jitters, but since coming back to school I've become more critical of our relationship. I feel like a horrible person because of that. I love TJ, we're getting married and there has never been a doubt in my mind of that. I'm just gonna end this entry, I'm tired, way off kilter after a night of drinking last night, and in dire need of sleep right now before I say stuff I don't mean. Goodnight.